It’s so weird.
I feel happy and exhausted at the same time.
Happy because I feel like
I’m accomplishing some type of closure.
I debated a long time
about some of the stuff I was writing,
and some of those things
I wanted to keep to myself.
There were even a few things
I just wanted to destroy.
But something keep gnawing at me,
whispering, “Please don’t.”
Yes, it has taken almost five years,
but the time is finally here,
and publishing it isn’t really for fame
but to finally put the nail in the coffin.
My true freedom song,
really declaring I have moved on.
But this whole journey
has me a bit wiped out!
I’d be lying if there weren’t times
I had to stop and catch my breath
when fear put the freeze on my heart
and my mind was screaming:
Why must you torture yourself?
You don’t have to do this!
But the greater torture is holding on to something,
treating the gift of these words like a curse
constantly wanting to put them to flame
knowing later, I’d feel ten times worse.
So I pressed on, ignoring the screams,
dealing with the headache
until it was done.
Now, there’s a cause to celebrate!
Sipping slowly on a bit of white wine,
thankful my heart no longer
is a prisoner to the ache.